look out weekend, I'm comin through!! It's time to get hesh! I am gonna break a piece off! FULL SPEED AHEAD YA BASTARDS!!! WE'RE GONNA RAM OUR WAY THROUGH!!!
--Capn' Death S.S. Wreckinshit

got to level: 37 on missle command.... dar.. I was usin the ole jedi mind... yar...my high score:192,300... yar...

Yar... I am sooooo bored today... yar... why? Time seems to be goin by in slow motion today... it is as if I am sailin backwards or something... Why is it that some days fly by, while others go slow as a snail.... today is slidin' by slower then a snail... more like a dead snail.... yar... I need to get some excitement into me life... maybe I am feelin slow because I still haven't ridden the ole plank.... yar... prolly won't be able to ride it tonight either... got to go knock down some pints, and throw some gutterballs..... yar tis gonna be fun.... Maybe I should just jump ship early and make a run for it.... yar.... how far is it to land from here.....
--Capn' Bor-dum S.S. Idlehands

Yar, I thought this was kinna funny.....

Why men are not secretaries: Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: "Someone from the Guyna College called. They said the Pabst beer is normal."

Yar, PBR is good... I like beer..... hahahar....
--Capn' Funnybone S.S. Makemelaugh

Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think. -- Chinese proverb

Yar... I haven't gone shreddin' on the ole plank in over a week now... yar, blasted boat... there isn't anything worth riding to around my house that is worth skating... yar... I need to go shred today for sure....not having a boat is like bein a fish outa water on a hot sunny day... I feel like I am shriveling up.... I hope my boat is gonna be out of the shop today... yar... gonna cost way too much.... erf... yar... blast... I need to find some treasure... me'only new years resolution this year was to skate more.... I need to make sure I keep true to that one... I was doin pretty well till last week... yar.... live to ride, ride to live... that is the only life fer me... YAR!!!!
--First Mate Skateor S.S. Die

Oh yea: GO KINGS!!! last nights game was one fer the ole ages!!! yar!!! I was on the ole edge o'my seat fer tha whole game!!! Sac town rules!!!!!! beat LA!!! beAT LA!!! BEAT LA!!! hahahahar!!!! I only can dream and hope that the Warriors will be that good someday... I wanna go to tha playoffs!!!! Go Warriors!! GO KINGS!!! BEAT SO-CAL!!! BEAT LA!!!!!!!!! haha MAKE KOBE CRY!!! hahahaha
--Capn' Gokings S.S.Don'tcryKobe

"Learn from the mistakes of others -- you can never live long enough to make them all yourself."

Everything a bastard ever needed or wanted to know about METAL....
--Capn' Death S.S. Metal

Yar, so I went on a 20 mile bike ride on monday with Capn' John tha rockstar and Capn' Sam tha Scam. We rode up to Stanford, and ate some junk food at the ole store at Tressador.. that was fun. I am really enjoying this cycling thing.... super fun... got up to about 38mph on this one short downhill that we took, wow... it is fun to go fast.... scary... but fun... reeeeally reeeaaallly fun.... yar.....climbing hills sucks tho.... I would rather walk tha plank then be forced to ride up hills all day.... yar.. goin' downhill = fun... climbin' up hill = sucks.... erf... I guess ya gotta sacrifice a little here and there... I think the best thing about this cycling thing is that I can feel some of my competitive spirit coming back to me.... I think I have been missing that a bit since my days in highschool.... I miss the hunt... the race... the burn... the endorphines....etc etc... the funny thing for me being on a bike, is that everyone I see ahead of me becomes someone to race.... even the old ladies on their Biscanes.... and even the overweight blade-ridin' fools who would never even have a chance racing a bike... shoot.... I even saw this kid on training wheels a head of me and thought... "I can catch him".... hahaha They all are potential "kills" for me.... I don't care... if you are moving... and in front of me, then you want to race.... hmm... what does that say about me... yar...it is pretty funny... I race everyone, and everyone races me.... even if they don't know they are racing me... they are.... hm... yar.. I guess I am kinna silly like that... I like to ride.... it is fun... yar... wanna race?
--Capn' Racer S.S. Imagonnabeatyou

"Everythin is w/in walkin distance if u have the time"
--stephen wright

yar, well, tha weekend wasn't a total loss.... even tho I had to work both sat and sunday.... and the F------lakers won on sunday... yar... that sucked.... but all in all, I gotta say it was a pretty good weekend... saw some ole war comrades that I hadn't seen in months... that is always fun... Went with Wes, Dan, and their homie Steve up to Dublin last night to go see Ultimate-X at the IMAX theater... it was pretty cool... but kinna lame too.... sorta like ESPN on tha big screen... not really 100% true to the sports... I dunno... the whole "Extreme" title kinna buggs me... makes me think it is like a circus or something.... "See the Extreme athletes proform wild and wacky stunts...." I dunno... kinna leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth....yar... whatever tho... it tis good to see people gettin payed for doing what they love... that is what life should be all about.... so I guess it is a good thing.... I hope.... erf... yar... Anyway, it was a pretty cool movie... kinna short.... and definately no Dogtown move that is for sure.... Dogtown was sick.... everyone should see this movie.... it is a great documentary and the cinematography is amazing.... went out with Damian and JB and a few others on saturday... lots'a good times.... twas fun.
Anyway... good to see the ole shipmates..... gotta work on keepin in better touch with those bastards... yar.... mental note...Keep in touch with old shipmates: "it is worth the extra effort, even if 90% of the time they flake, the 10% that they don't, makes up for any lost time in between".... yar... good friends are hard to find... don't loose them when you got em...
--Capn' Keepitreal S.S. OG-Dogs4life

Oh yea, just for the record.... I work with a few really dumb people, and on the weekends... they turn into super dumb people. yar... Get me out of this here stinkin ship o' stupidity....... yar...
--capn' Getme S.S. Offthiscrazyboat

Sunday... workin.... cold strawberry pop-tarts and semi-flat coke just aren't doin it today.. yuck.... hmph... why am I here... oh yea... gotta get some money so I can continue bein' a crazy pirate on the ole seven seas.... I am tired... tis my fourth day o'ridin' te ole green machine ta work... yar... my legs are feelin it a bit today.... gotta say tho... between ridin the ole bike and starting to work out again... I am feelin pretty damn good. I haven't felt this good in a while.... tis good... It is amazing how much better you feel after a good day's exercise..... well.... gotta go back to the ole barge... want ta get off this bloody ship by 2 so that I can watch tha Kings stomp on the ole Flakers again!!! GO KINGS!!!! BEAT LA!!!
--Capn' Kellogg S.S. Coldpoptartssuck

yar tis saturday... slavin away on the ole barge.... life is good tho.... yo ho yo ho... a slave's life fer me..... hmph... I need to get a life.... find a good excuse not to come in on the weekends at least... yar... tho... tha O.T. be nice fer sure... yar... So let's see... made it throught the day yesterday without killin capn' insane-o.... almost didn't make it tho.... I think Capn' Wayne should have to do some penance to make up for the ole fact that he didn't have to indure tha pain and suffering that the rest of the ole ship endured... hmmm I may have to think on that fer a while.... hahahar.... lucky bastard.

Went and sailed tha seas of tha Ranar hood last night... those bastards are funny Capn' Pete and Crew were in good form... twas a grand time... Saw tha laker game with Capn' Pete... tis such a nice thing to see those bastards loose.... yar!! GO SACTOWN!!!! After tha game went to Carls Jr. yuck... and then went to get some beer and to go skate this new spot over by tha Ranar hood... twas a sick session... Capn' Pete and Capn' Justin tha one armed were rippin it up... good to see that Justin is skating again... after he broke his arm last year... I didn't expect to see him ridin the ole plank again.... tis a good sight... that scurvey dog is sick! It was a super good time.... haven't had a night street session in many a day... twas grand. Beer is good after skating.... yum.... especially good beer like Newcastle.... yar! good times....

After the ole session, we watched some footy, watched some Kings highlights and then engaged is some crazy ping pong battles... Julian, Pete, Kyle and Justin tried to play doubles... it was crazy funny.... I think they must have surved 8-8 like 15 times... tha drunken bastards... twas a grand hoot.... Me belly is soar from laughin so much... yar... good good times.... good friends... gotta hang out with those bastards more often.... they are funny.

well, tis all fer now, gotta get back ta work now....
--Capn' Slashdogsteez S.S. Workinman

yar, Capn' Wayne tha killer sure knows when the right time to abandon ship is... yar.... Tis friday... I am stuck workin with the insane scurvey bastard bob...yar... Capn' Wayne tha killer is out in Vegas with his maiden, havin fun... probably sleepin.... or gettin his fade on.... I am here stuck with Capn' Insane-o..... somebody please kill me.... I wish he wouldn't yap at me.... If I hear one more "bob" tryin to be funny remark, I will take my own life..... I feel like: BOB, if ya don't shut yer yapper, I am gonna take me box cutter and slit yer bloody throat.... I can't stand his stupid remarks.... "wow this is really poor planning" (put on repeat for an hour and a half) NO SHIT YA BASTARD!!!!! but yappin about it isn't gonna make it any better... just get to fucking work and shut yer bloody f-in trap..... argh... If I was tha capn' of this fuckin slave barge I would have made that bastard walk tha plank years ago.....

Capn' Wayne..... you are a lucky bastard.... I gotta get a life...
--Capn' Pissedoff S.S. SHUTTHAFUCKUPBOB

yar.... my boat ain't gonna be fixed till after tuesday..... ugh.... sailin idle in tha seas o'tranquility.... or were those tha seas o'boredom.... yar... what tha bloody hell am I gonna do this weekend... yar...
--First mate Badmood S.S. Boatwithnooars

I printed this and left it on tha desks of the raiders from yesterday's water attack....

Revenge is gonna be Sweet!!
I�ve got a bucket at home with your name on it��
WATCH -YOUR- BACK
You never know when I might be on tha jack!!!!!!!!!
One by one�. All will fall�..
�Muuuaaahahahahahahaha�-Sean

They found the death notices this mornin' when they got to work... Now every time I walk by they all duck and cower... har har har! this is sooo fun! Yar tha taste of sweet revenge..... Beware the Dread pirate Evil!!!
muuuuhahahahahaha
--Capn Evil S.S. Showsnomercy

yar, borrowed a Cyclo-cross/road bike from one of me comrade's. Rode it ta work today, yar, twas really fun.... I think that I am gonna have to do that as a regular thing... even when me ole boat does get back from the shop.... it normally takes me about 12-15 min ta get to work when I drive... today it took me just about 20... but I got ta work under me own power... yar... excercise is a good thing... I am gonna get in crazy good shape! yar! now I just have to find a bike of me own! yar! I am super excited to get into this here new sport called Cyclo-cross racing. It is like a road race, except you have to dismount from your bike, run up stairs, short hills, around rocks and stuff... and then jump back on yer bike and keep going till the next dismount area.... YES!! This sounds like a pirate race if I have ever heard of one!! yar!!! The best part about Cyclo-cross is that it is held in the fall and winter... which means rain, mud, and crashing! yar!! I can't friggin wait! "Watch out ya bastards! Capn' Slaytan tha Cyclo-coss killer is on tha loose!!!" YAR!!! I will run some bastards through!!
--Capn' Slaytan S.S. Cyclinfool

"The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." -- George Bernard Shaw
Make that shit happen!
yar some good words of advice if ya ask me!
--Capn Know S.S. Ledge

yar.... why is the wind nowhere to be found... today has been sooooo slow... aside from getting attacked by those mutinus bastards! (still planning their demise by the way) Why didn't I get that engine when I had the chance......
yar.... I could use an engine right about now......
--Capn Spinnin S.S. Incircles

Some scurvey bastards just attacked my cube.... with water cannons none the less.... the bastards don't know who they are messin with..... The red flag is bein' raised as we speak.... The silly bastards attacked with supersoakers..... I am gonna drop buckets on their sorry wet souls! and I am gonna wait too.... so that when they are least expecting it.... they die! yar... let them live for today.... tomorrow, I will get my revenge.... those blokes might as well get in their graves right now..... they gonna die soon enough.... PREPARE TO BE BLASTED YA SCURVEY BASTARDS! No one boards my ship and lives to tell.... no one!!!!!!
--Capn' Death S.S. Thismeanswar

Yar, I would wish to have more fun, A bastard can never have enough fun now can he? To me, that is what Sailin the ole Seven Seas is all about... havin' fun.... so if I could have more of anything.... it would be more fun.... yar!
--Capn' Goodtimes S.S. Let em' Roll

ALPHONSO112: i use to make the mic smoke
ALPHONSO112: and now i throw it down to make sure that it's broke
haha that is dope..... word up on the seven seas...

Gold in them thar hills
Yar been thinkin a lot about the whole concept of money... tha thing that so many of us hold dear to our heart.... but what is money really.... just a sheet of paper with some green ink on it.... and why is that so valuable... can't really do anything with it except maybe whipe yer arse with it..... maybe a better use would be to use it as newspaper to help make a fire... Ya can't even use it to write on....so what good is that?! Paper you can't even write on..... I guess it is kind of strong... but I wouldn't use one as a sail for me ole ship...much to small to power the ole boat... and it would take much too long to sew a thousand of them together and make a big sail out of them..... So why is the ole dollar worth anything at all?? I guess it all goes back to gold... paper money is a representation of gold.... um yea.. and why in ta bloody hell is gold worth anything... what bastard made gold so bloody sought after... "hey lookey here matie's I just dug up this rock from the ole ground... and hey lookie here.. it sparkels in the sun... yar! this is worth a lot!" What in tha bloody hell??!!! Gold is worth something because it is pretty???!!! WHAT??? Ya can't make a sword outa gold... well, you could, but not one that will last fer long in a battle at least.... why isn't steel worth more then gold??? ya can do much more with steel....oh... because there isn't a lot of gold to be found in the ole world... it is "rare".... well, there is only one of me... shouldn't I be worth more then gold then? but yet, I am only "worth more" if I have a bunch of gold in my possession.... a bunch of rocks that sparkle.... and look shiny when ya polish them... that makes you rich.... That seems a bit strange to me..... we base everything of "Value" on its relation to rocks... or the ability to obtain rocks..... does this not sound like insanity to anyone else.... If you want to understand the roots to this insanity read this........ or you can just look at it from my view..... people are insane.... we love rocks.... yar.... I think I will go back to piracy, this philosophy bag is makin me head hurt! "AHOY THERE YON GALLEON!! PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!!!! WE HAVE COME FER YER ROCKS" oh... and yer maidens too!!!! and um... maybe a bit o' food as well.....
--Capn' Goldrush S.S. Fourtyniner

"A bird in hand is worth two in the bush...unless you're a vegetarian."
--Capn' Brainpower S.S. Thinkonthat

Go Kings.... hey...if ya can't beat em... Join em.... yar... (I am still a Warriors fan fer life tho...)
--Capn' Crusher S.S. BeatLA

Sunday
Yar, Sunday..... had lunch with me pops... twas good to see him... don't get to see him much since he moved up to Washington. always good ta see him and catch up a bit. Afterwards chilled for a while.... then went to get more food at In and Out burger.... then, bellys stuffed and ready to explode, Dylan and I decided to go to Greer park and have a crazy shred session.... twas fun... haven't gone that fast there in a long time.... following Dylan on crazy speed runs was super fun.... scary... but super fun... over all prolly one of the best sessions I have ever had there.... (mental note... go to greer more often... gotta train for Colorado....) After that went to pick up Dylan's rental car, and cruzed to his hotel.... where I got a stomach ache from laughing as Dylan the Destroyer did standing backflips on his bed.... it was super rad... Dylan is soooo funny.... I wish he lived in the bay area.... tho... if he did... I would prolly get destroyed..... anyway... after Dylan got tired the laughter stopped... I went to leave and my car wouldn't start... F@#$ had to abandon the ole ship at the Pruneyard.... I hope it starts tonight.... F@#$..... having no boat to sail in really sucks.... yar..... Dylan gave me a ride home... yar... thanks Dylan... and I went to sleep annoyed and saddened... yar.... I hope the ole boat gets me home tonight... I don't wanna have to get a tow truck out thar to pick up tha bastard.... yar.... and so ends tha tails o' tha weekend... all in all, I must say, it was a grand one! one of the best in a while... except for the part about tha boat dyin.... yar..... wish me luck....

The Ole Weekend part two: Saturday
So Saturday rolled around, went to La Bomba for lunch.... yum.... Once the belly was full, took the 101, to the 237, to the 880, to Mission, to 680, to 580, to the 210, to the 120, to the 99 and somehow, ended up in Ripon California.... wow... is pretty much all I can say.... the park is a hesher's dream come true... and Dylan the Destroyer tore it up.... that guy is a serious park killer.... you would think that the park had said something bad about his mom the way he was killin it..... it was awesome.... even the locals were impressed... and with good reason... Dylan was skating faster, harder, and going bigger then everyone.... local or non... no one was killin it like Dylan the Destroyer.... it was awesome.... I hardly killed anything there except myself... that place is crazy... but I had a really good time... skating with Dylan is always fun. He gets you psyched.... we had a sick double line.... I hit F.S. lipslide, Dylan hit switch F.S. lipslide revert... it was dope.... I had a rad time... Dylan busted the fatty airs all day long... took some pictures with my medium format camera and shot some footy... it was supppppper fun..yar... met some nice fools there... saw this one crazy hesher with camo pants and a og sleeveless, sideless, Iron Maiden shirt, tear it up..... it was a good time.... got some sun... had lots of fun.... didn't wreck too hard.... it twas a bloody grand time..... Finally after a good 3-4 hours of skating, we took the long path back to the south bay.... hit up the Mt. View skatepark... killed the miniramp... killed the spine... killed the quarters.... we hit tha bastard hard....YAR! twas like goin into battle with all tha guns ablaze.... blaoooow!! Best session I had had in many a day..... Capn' Mike aka El Loco met us there.... it was fun... then we all went back to my house and played some Evil I music... it was a great time... super fun.. afterwards, went to the ole Boardwalk.... ate some food... then sleepy sleepy time... yar... slept like a rock..... like a baby at sea.... twas a grand day of sailin with the ole red flag in the air.... yar..... show no mercy...... and so that was Saturday.... yar

The Ole Weekend part one: FRIDAY
Yar, So I should be tellin some tales of the ole weekend.... yar so here is tha first tale.... Friday night... yar! picked up Dylan tha Destroyer from the ole airport, went to La Bomba for some good eats, went to my casa, met up with Capn John The boat Rocker and Capn "dangerous" Geoff the Viper. Then we all sailed up to the ole city of San Fran....to meet Capn' Wayne the Killer and to see: MOTORHEAD! and also: MORBID ANGEL!!! damn... those scurvey bastards are loud and fast.... it ruled. Lemmy is so bad ass..... Morbid Angel was soooo crazy... so death metal... yar... twas awesome... there were a ton of heshers there... it was pretty awesome.... Motorhead is so hesh.... the sound wasn't great... and we had to stand in the back... but it was still better then a chest full o' treasure... or even a fine wench at that... yar... well.. maybe not that good... but it was pretty bloody good.
Speaking of fine wench's wow... there were a few there... hesher girls drive me wild.. yar... anyway the concert was awesome... it was super fun.... singin along with Lemmy, yellin' out loud... havin a good time... twas good.... twas good... so that was friday....

This just in: Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant has food poisoning and might not play tonight against Sacramento in Game 2 of the Western Conference finals. He began vomiting about 11 p.m. and continued through the night.... Yar me ole plan be workin... har har ar har muuuaaahhhahahahahahahahaha!
--Capn' Poison S.S. Evilplan

Yar, just got back from the ole Star Wars Episode II... har har... snuck off the ole boat ta see it.... yar... tis a good thing.... I's thinks that playin hookie everyonce in a while is good for the ole soul! I must say, as I said before, Episode I is/was no Empire.... yar.... Episode II isn't either.... yar....oh well, twas still pretty good... I suppose, tho I think tha best part was the fact that we snuck off the ole boat ta see it... yar.... capn' Wayne the Killer and Capn' Plushious Jennie are true pirates at heart! yar!!! tis the only way fer a pirate ta live! yar!
--Capn Vader S.S. Deathstar

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare
up the steps - We must step up the stairs. -- Vance Havner

yar I am off o' this sinkin ship! see ya in davey jones ya bastards!
--Capn' Jumpship S.S. Manoverboard

when is this bloody day gonna end.... I should blog about the mother truckers sweet victories last night....but I am too bored.... to bored to blog yar.... tis a day like none other... infact... tis all... I am not intha mood at all yar....
--Capn' Boredtodeath S.S. CanIgoHomeYet

yar goin to Motorhead tonight!!!! Lemmy rocks! I can't wait..... tis it time to go yet?? yar!!!!!!
--Capn' Ahab S.S. Whitewhale

yar... this weekend is gonna rock!

A random fact from tha seven seas..... yar: Some humming birds weigh less then a penny. (2.5 grams) Yar...Less then a bloody penny!!! yar..... pick up a penny and realize the amazingness of that fact.... yar

Yar... I ate 6 cheesedogs last night.... I love bbq's..... Damian is cool! so are the rest of my friends.... tis always a good time with them.... glad to have such good comrades... yar.... tis all.. here's to good friends and cheesedogs..
--Capn' Scurvey Dog S.S. Nofruit

yar, I just want go on the ole record sayin that Lucas should have kept it real and used models, not computers.... Empire rules.... Phantom Menace drools..... yar... I will still see Episode II tho... even if it is all computer teched out... booooo says the peanut gallery.... tis all ya bastards!
--Capn' Solo S.S. Millennium Falcon

"Just because you made first string, doesn't mean you're not a loser."
Yar ain't that tha truth....
--Capn' Insight S.S. Food4thought

Yar, so I had Chinese food again for dinner last night... yar... you would think that I was sailin' the seas of the Great East... yar... took me ole grandmother out fer a late muthers day... it is hard having stepgrandparents... yar, it is hard enough havin' step parents.... anyway, twas an interesting eve... me grandma is very closed minded.... and very old... yar... she is not hesh at all.... yet in some ways she is..... she is funny like that.... she has a hard time appreciating things she doesn't understand.... we had an interesting conversation about music... she has old views on music... she doesn't even like the beatles... yar... how could you not like them? She hates Rap music... in fact, she refused to even agree that it was music... I hope when I get old I can at least appreciate the creativity of a musician, even if I don't really like their music.... Why is it that when people get old they fall out of the loop... I don't think I am ever gonna grow up... I think that is the key to living a full and happy life.... My Grandma is funny... she is the first person to answer "good" when she found out I didn't have any maidens in my life.... that was pretty cool. I don't think I will have Chinese food for awhile.... twice in one day is a bit much ......anyway... I got another fortune....

"there is prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you" : )

I like that... I hope it rings true... raise the sails! Some grand adventures are just around the next bend.... yar!
--Commander Fun S.S. boat-that-floats

So me and my shipmate Capn't Wayne and I went to P.F.Changs fer lunch today... food was pretty good... nothing to shout about... but pretty darn good... was fun at least, saw some ole friends from our days in the ole ship HR.....anyway... I stole meself two fortune cookies and here is what they said:

1) He who is aware of his folly is wise
2) good things come in small packages.

I dunno about anyone else... but these two words of wisdom don't mean much to me.... well... I guess being aware of you foolishness/stupidity/folly is a good thing... it is wise not to wade into waters where you can't stay afloat... but just because you are aware of your folly, this does not make you automatically wise... many bastards are aware of their shortcomings... but do nothing to change them... so to me, that makes them less wise... it isn't enough to be aware of things... I can be aware that I am a scurvey bastard... but if I do nothing to right that wrong, then I am still a scurvey bastard.... and I am no wiser for knowin' the fact that I am a scurvey bastard.... yar....

And how in the bloody hell does "good things come in small packages" help a pirate gain meaningfull insight... good things like what? planks don't come in small packages.... boats don't come in small packages.... laughter doesn't even come in a package... love... that can't be boxed.... ya can't wrap a friend up in a small package.......so what is this small thing that is so good? Small packages of gold are not better then large packages of gold!!! yar... maybe I am missing the ole point... but to me this quote is just a bunch of jibber jabber.... you know what Mr.T would say about that.... "quit it"... yar....
--Capn Plato S.S. Fil-loss-o-fee

Yar so I went to the ole Floggin Molly show last night... as I have said many a'time before.... they are by far, one of, if not the best live bands I have ever seen.... last nights show was one of the best shows that I have seen from them.... It was their last day of the tour.... and they pulled out all the stops.... I was pretty impressed.... they had played 60 shows in two months.... for those of you who can't add... that is a show every night for 60 days in a row.... damn... that is insane...I don't know of many pirates that can raise the red flag every night of the week.... but if any band could, it would be Flogging Molly... they are the best band ever... yar... that be sayin a lot comin from a bastard pirate like me.... yar.... I am a fan forever.... yar.... I can only hope to be half as awesome as they are on stage someday... damn... they rock!
tis all fer now landlubbars,
--Capn O'Fallon S.S. Ireland

oh yea... almost forgot... Capn' Mike and I got into the show fer free.... twas kinna funny... we just walked right in and nobody tried to stop us or anything.... true pirates... yar... hahaha
-Capn' Walker S.S. Infreenopay

ok, yar, so the ole weekend rehash.... twas quite an event filled weekend.... and also quite fun.... first off... Friday night.... sailed to the ole studio to check out the potential band room.... yar... it looks like it is going to be awesome! yar!!!! Hopefully the band will be able to move in sometime around June 1st... yeeearrr!!! tis gonna be a grand day when we move in... yar... went and played some "aggressive pool" afterwards... this is the only kind of pool that a true pirate should play.... in this kind of pool the rule is: you can't hit soft... all hits must be like you were trin' to run a bastard through with yer sword!! hense: aggressive pool... it is really quite entertaining.... yar... watch out for flying cue balls tho...

Ok, so that was friday night... Saturday-day I slaved away for about 6 hours on the ole barge... that was not really very fun... yar... but a dollar or two was gained... so a bit more to add to me treasure.... Then I went to the ole BBQ.... this is where the real fun began.....

Goin up to ole Capn' Damian's is always a treat... he is docked up in ole San Carlos and has a great little house on the corner of this four way intersection.... nice neighborhood... nice house... fun place to drink and BBQ cheese dogs... so anyway, drank a lot of good beer... and even got involved in a game called "beer pong"..... this is like ping pong... except the goal is to hit the opposite players beer bottle that is resting near the center edge of the table. Every time you hit the ole bottle, the bastard you are attackin' has to take a sip... but the real goal is to knock the ping pong ball that is resting on the top of the beer bottle off.... if you do this (knock the ball off the bottle).... then the bastard has to pound his whole beer... Damian was good at this game... So was Capn' John "the Stunt tricycle rider".... Capn' Geoff and me'self were not so good at this game and drank our fair share of beer because of that fact... yar... tis a game I don't really mind loosin at.... yar!!!

As usual, a day at ole capn' Damian's isn't compleate without someone ridin' the ole three wheeler around... yar... the adult sized tricycle is funny.... it is even more funny with Capn' John ridin it doin the sideways wheelie....he is pretty good at that... what is even more funny is John riding on two wheels while blowing through a stop sign half way down Damian's hill.... "crazy!!"... but what is even more funny is seein capn' Damian ridin' the ole tricycle with a 6ft inflatable penguin from New Zeland in the back basket... Watching the cars pass him and give him dirty looks, that was really funny as well..... Watching John, with the 6ft penguin in the back, and a open beer that tipped over and spilled all over the street as he did the two wheel motion, blow through the intersection at a great rate of speed, was pretty close to the funniest thing I saw all day.... yar... me stomach is still in a bit o' pain from that one... yar.... good stuff.... probably the second funniest thing I saw that day, was the penguin "hanging out" in the middle of the four way intersection... the look on peoples faces as they drove by it was priceless.... they were like: Yar! what tha blasted hell is that penguin doin' in tha middle o' the bloody road... yar.... Damian and John are quite a couple o' characters... yar they always make me laugh....

After I sobered up a bit, I drove to Capn't mikes so that we could go to the ole show....
then I fell in love.... and that is about the extent of the ole weekend.... took me mom and grandma out to lunch fer mother's day.... took a nap.... and that is about all she wrote.......yar... twas a great weekend.... even tho I didn't even ride the ole plank.... yar.... well... here's to more great weekends..... tis all fer now me hearties... yar!
--Capn' Lotsofun S.S. Greatweekendsaregood

yar ok... so.. maybe I should clarify my somewhat drunken statement that was made at... oh... yar... 2:16 am on saturday night....er.. sunday morning..... er...har...har... yar... Ok, so let the ole log books show that maybe I am not really in love... but that I think I have finally rekindled a hope that there might be a maiden out there somewhere for me.... yar... ok... maybe I's should explain me ole self a bit more.... yar..... first off, let me just say I had a grand weekend... I will post up some more stuff about the festivities later... but for now I will attemt to explain why I am "in love".... So anyway.... Me shipmate Capn' Mike the Outsider and I went to a show at the Cactus Club on saturday... we saw some bands that should have been left at the dock.... either that or on a desert island with no food or water.... I hate to be a negative pirate.. but some of these bands should have been tortured and hung for their horid performances.....anyway....the band that we went to see was a group of ole pirates called the "Groovie Ghoulies".... and they, made sitting through four of the worst bands I had ever seen and heard, worth while... yar... they rocked!!! a fast, furious, nonstop, kick your ass kind of show... it was bloody awesome... It has been many a day since I have seen a band raise the ole red flag like that.... Reminded me of the ole Ramones....anyway... again I digress from my topic: me heart.... yar, so anyway... the Groovie Ghoulies have a girl who plays guitar... thump... thump....thump thump.. thumpthump... yar... me pulse quickens....and not only did she rock, but she also was wearing a motorhead shirt... had I died and gone to heaven? somebody wake me from this dream.......wow... yar... needless to say It was love at first sight.... er... sound... er... yea well... you get my drift.... there, up on the ole stage, is this girl with bleached blond long bangs, wearing a motorhead shirt, singing and playing punkrock music, and rockin it like Joey Ramone..... all at the same time.... yar...soooo much style..... so much passion..... yar... I just about passed out.... yar.... um so yea.... me heart is forever hers... er... or something like that.... hehe har har... yar... I guess the main thing that seeing her made me realize is this: somwhere out there in the seven seas... on some far or near shore... somewhere.... there are amazing girls.... and someday... I will be lucky enough to meet one of these rare maidens... and with a bit o' luck, she will be single... and with a little more luck, she will like scurvey pirates like me... and then I will really be in love... yar... a pirate can dream can't he? yar.......tis all fer now ya bastards...
--Capn' Dreamer S.S. Someday

Yar... I am in love....
--Capn' Seandog S.S. Sevenseas

yar... work work work... yar..... I am shovin of to raid a bbq.... yar! ahoy there fine maidens... yar!!!
--Capn' Worktoomuch S.S. Iworkhardforthamoney

Yar just found out me ole skate dog and comrade in arms Capn' Dylan is gonna be sailin into town from the ole Colorado! yar he is gonna go to the motorhead show and we are gonna go skate all the cement parks in Nor-Cal... yar!! tis gonna be a hesh weekend for sure come the ole 17th!!!! yar!!!! YES!! yar... tha red flag won't come down fer days!!!! Dylan the destroyer is soooo rad! Funtimes to be had soon!!! yar!!!!
-Capn' Slayer S.S. Heshin'

"If you are physically able to lace up your skates, you should attempt to play, and even if you can't, you still play. Example: pittsburgh penguins star Mario Lemienx who suited up for the playoffs even tho his back was so sore that he couldn't bend over to tie his skates...." yar.... hockey players are tuffer then Mr.T..... damn...
--Capn' Hurtin S.S. Playtillyerdead

Capn' Wayne the Killer just told be a story about some pirate on the Maple Leafs who broke his leg durring a playoff game... and continued to play , scoring the game winning goal in OT... This bloke then went on to only ice his leg for two days so that he could then play in game 7 and help the Leafs win.... he said "I knew it was broke...I didn't want to go to the hospital cuz they would tell him me it was broken and I couldn't play"... so he didn't go to the hospital... and played two games with a broken farkin leg... yar..... that is a warrior if I have ever heard of one... good god... that is insane.....
--Capn Bobby S.S. Vaun

yar... why is it that I hardly make any mistakes but when I do... they be as huge as a mountain.... yar....
arr... erf... yar.... blast.... we're goin down me hearties.... man the ole lifeboats....
-Capn' Jinx S.S. Sunkenbardge

yar, ok gonna try this again.... went to me shipmates roller hockey game on wednesday... yar it was a heap of fun.... Capn' Wayn "The Killer Cross Checker" took a bastard off his skates and put him on his head.... I was supprised the fool wasn't knocked the f--- out..... he got called for a penalty... but yar.... twas a nice hit if ya aske me... illegal or not... it was one of the raddest things I have seen in a while... His evil twin Capn' Wayne the Second had a nice check into the boards.... they called him for a penalty as well.... tho... I think that hit was a bit more legal the Capn' Wayne the killer's... yar... solid checks the both... well... I guess Wayne the Killers was more of a triping... but still pretty hard core... like rammin' the enemy ship with yer own.... yar... twas a grand show.... Unfortunatly the opposing scurvey bastards won... but it was still a lot of fun to watch.... I wish I was good at skating... roller hockey looks like it would be a grand time.... ar...alas... the only skating I am able to do is on me ole plank.... yar.... never been very solid on the ole skates... yar.... arr.... oh well.... tis all fer now, gotta get some work done.... Yonger rules the solid seas! yar #13 be lucky if ya ask me...
--Capn' Check Mate S.S. Gameolife

Tis about goddammed time this was working again... yar...
heads still may have to roll tho....YAR!!!!

Six tries... this is the seventh.... wrote for close to 20 min' about Capn' Waynes Game last night... and it didn't post! Somebody is gonna die... I am so entirely pissed off right now...
Where is my saber.... PREPARE TO BE BOARDED YA BASTARDS!!!! THE RED FLAG IS FLYING!!!!!!!
-Capn' PAIN S.S. Evilredflag

yar can't post to me site cuz the server is busy.... hmm...they want me to upgrade to pro... I think this be a plot to get me treasure if ya ask me... yar...

yar... my comrade Capn' Mike and I went to the ole streetlight records last night... yar.... I like going there... except I am lucky if I get out for under 50 gold pieces... yar... got the Beatles white album... tis such a rad album... yar.... I also got a pretty great CD by Frank Black..... and some Sessions Comp.... it is pretty good so far... of course I have only heard two songs on it... yar.....

Went to the ole nut house last night afterwards.... yar, we haven't been going there enough lately... yar... our favorite bartender Kelly wan't there... we were kinna bummed about that.... I thought she use to work tuesday nights... yar... watched some NBA highlights... the highlight of me night was seein that San Antonio stuck their knife into LA and won the battle... I hope they win the war... but I doubt they will.... I can't decide who to root for in the SACtown Dallas game.... I just want someone to beat LA... yar.... I wish I could run LA through.... Can't stand tha scurvey bastards... yar... I hope the Warriors are gonna be better next year.... yar....One can dream can't he? yar...
tis all fer now ya bastards,
Capn' Hackashaq S.S. BeatLA

Another word from the wise:
"Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut." -- Daniel Greenberg

Yar some quotes ta get ya motivated.... or something... yar....

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." -- George Eliot

"All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible." -- Dr. Frank Richards

Never give up on a dream, never think yer dreams are unachievable, yar dreams are what make life worth livin!
--Capn' Ozzy S.S. Blacksabbath

yar took some funny tests this morning... turns out me theme song is "Back in Black" by AC/DC and my monster match is the Devil.... hmmmm any real suprise there? haha yar.... check out what kinna monster you are, and let me know! hahaha yar.... ya gotta sign up for this thing... but it only takes a few seconds of yer life... yar.... I don't feel like working today... yar... is it time to go yet? yar... today is gonna lag... yar...
--Capn Beelzebub S.S. High Voltage

testing the waters.....

How tuff are you matey? yar....
--Capn' Pitty S.S. Dirtfoo

yar so me weekend amassed to just about nothing..well maybe that isn't really quite true.... yar... worked on the ole slave ship saturday and sunday....skated a bit with Pete the Killer at the ole park.... that was fun... yar... tis always a good time... went to Vans on friday... got some new kicks! yar! I also ordered some red and white checkerboard slides! yea!!! Those things are sooooo awesome... yar! So that was good.... Didn't meet any maidens.... didn't even really see any maidens.... where do the maidens hang out anywayz? Went to the ole board walk with Capn' Mike... yar they have the best burgers ever! Yar, went to check out the practice place... the ole studio that Capn' Mike and I are gonna be movin into! Yar that place is gonna be me home away from home.... I can't wait till we can play music 24 hours aday.... 7 days aweek... yar... that is gonna be better then a chest full o'gold...... yar.... wheeell... better get back to swabin' the ole deck... yar...
--Capn' Getalife S.S. Slow Boat From China

Yar, It be sunday night... yar... I should be asleep.... tis too late for this shit... yar.... it be past the ole witching hour... yar... too much stuff in me brain... can't even make sense of it here on the ole seven seas.... yar.... too many things out of control... yar... too many unknows out there.. should I take the ole risk? should I keep on me current heading? yar what tis a pirate ta do... yar... confusion... yar... the real enemy of an ole pirate... not as evil as say an ex hag or ole mother nature... but still quite an enemy... yar... I need to sleep... one a clock and all's well??......
--Capn Sleepdeprived S.S. Can'tgettosleep

it is too early for this shit.... yar.... 815.. sunday.... working..... yar....
--Capt. Sleepysand S.S. Iwishiwasstillinbed

yar saw the best movie I have ever seen last night, and no, it wasn't that spiderman movie.. yar.. I have no interest in seein that one...Went to see the Dog Town Documentry last night.... it was bloody amazing... the best thing I have ever seen in the theater... the best documentry I have ever seen period.... If you want to know what riding the plank is all about... see this movie... this is the kinna stuff I live for... I hope to someday be a part of something as amazing as the Z boys and Dog Town.... real hardcore true kinna stuff.... doing what you love because you love it.... that is what every person should strive for in their life....yar... inspirational.... amazing... awesome... If you want to live, see this movie.... If you don't.... I may have to run a sword through you.... yar... see the Dog Town Movie... it is real.

tis saturday again... yar... workin like a scurvey dog... yar....
wheeell.... at least me pockets will be gettin fat.... yar...that an me arse...
--Capn' Work S.S. Aholic

I need to go get some new vans this weekend... yar I hope I can find some red/white checkerboard slides... yar that would be a treasure in itself.... yar...
--Capn' Oldschool S.S. Bonless

yar! oh yea... the whole reason fer me post about the ole club de cacti was that the drummer from sixseven is a maiden, and not only is she a maiden, but a maided who has some serious chops, but the real crazy thing was that she also plays like me, which is very rare.... (Me playing style is a bit strange... it is called "south paw" this is where you play your high-hat with your left hand insted of yer right...not many drummers play like this...) yar it was crazy to see.... I was super stoked! Yar, anyways, it will be kinna cool if we end up sharing a studio together.... having similar styles... that twill be a fine thing... so yar... I dunno, I was just a bit excited about that.... such a rare thing to see a drummer who has the same wild style... and then to potentially be sharin the same studio.... I just think to me self... what are the odds? maybe I should play the ole lotto today...yar... maybe not.... anyway enough talk of that...

yar... is it the weekend yet??? aaaarrrrr... looks like I will be stuck once again on the ole slave ship this saturday... yar... oh whelllll a nother dollar or two for the ole bank... yar...
--Capn South Paw S.S. Drummachine

Ahoy thar, yar, went to the ole club o'Cacti last night... yar saw some pretty good bands perform on the ole stage... yar... this one band of whom I didn't catch the name had a maiden singing, yar, she could really sing well... tho, I's think she would have been better in a old style punk rock band (like blondie) The band we may be sharing a studio with in San Jose played last... sixseven... they were pretty awesome! Yar, they reminded me alot of one of me favorite bands tha ole Pixies It was a good show. yar... a few beers with capn' Mike and capn' Pizzi... twas a good night... yar

tis all fer now ya bastards,
--Capn' America S.S. Comicbook

Yar a quote fer ya land lubbars:

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect."
-- Stephen Wright

Hesh on ya bastards,
--Capn' Miko tha hippie killer S.S. ST4LIFE

Yar, ya ever have a bastard that follows your ship around and tries to board at every opportunity? Always yellin "ahoy there! I want to talk to you about pointless information fer hours on end!" Me shipmate Capn' Wayne and I have one of those scurvey bastards that tries to invade our cube everyday... YAR!! This bloke is one of those bastards that just annoys the bloody hell out of you.... the scurvey bastard jabbers at us all the blasted time...wastes our time, talks of pointless things like mermaids, ghosts, and atlantas.... and talks about these things with an uncontrolled passion... yar... everytime he stops by me quarters I want to either decapitate him... or hang meself from the main mast.... yar.... has he no brain? has he no common sense... yar.... "go away and never show yer skull in me cube again!!!"...yar.... I suppose he means well most o'the time... but good god man.... let a pirate work in peace... yar... I don't want to sit around and philosophize with a scurvey havin' bloke who has no sense at all of what is worth talkin' about... yar... grrrrrrrr.... grrrr.... he annoys tha fiery hell out of me! YAR! yar....I thinks me and Capn. Wayne should build some hidden traps or something....yar........ grrrrr...... where did I leave that frigin sword....
--Capn Goaway S.S. Leavemealone

Yar I can't wait to be a 70's Rock Star! yar! that tis gonna be more fun then being a pirate! I have come to the conclusion that rockstars and pirates be almost one in the same... rockstars are just a little louder... I want to turn everything up to 11 and destroy everything.... yar the metal militia has come for yer soul! YAR!!! Metal is good fer yer soul.... yar! to quote the ole commander o'chaos: "I, Wanna rock and roll all night.... and party every day!" yar..... words ta live by!! yar....
--Ambassador of Metal S.S. Bangyourhead

Yar, by tho ole way, went to the ole park after work yesterday and raised the ole red flag.... I haven't killed the ole park like that in days.... I don't know if I have ever ridden the ole plank so well there.... I was like Chow Yun Fat in Hardboiled.... runnin people through with guns ablazin! yar twas a grand day of destruction! yar!

keep the red flag a flyin me hearties, and keep tha cannons a'blazin! Full speed ahead, wee'll run tha bastards through..... arrrrrr!!!!
--Capn' Red Beard S.S. Heshinpower

Yar, If I was an Autobot, I'd be:





Take the Transformers personality
test at android5.com!




Special thanks go out to Capn' Jennie "the html killer", yar, thanks to you, me blog isn't doomed to a life o'normality! yar learnin new things be a fine thing... yar... I have much to learn....
tis all ya bastards,
--Capn' Drake S.S. Monroe

No path of flowers leads to glory. -- Jean de La Fontaine
yar ain't that the truth....
--Capn' Hook S.S. Neverland

Yar, I have been readin up on some ole pirate lore... found some interesting sites about bein' a pirate... yar I think the most interesting thing I learned was that the Jolly Roger wasn't the most feared flag one might see on a pirate ship....The most feared flag that a ship could hoist would be a solid red one......The sight of a red flag meant that no mercy would be shown in battle. Yar... time to raise the ole red flag and get down to business! yar!!! Ya learn something new every day... yar....
--Capn Peg Leg Pete S.S. Mayflower

Yar after reading me posts from yesterday I am begining to think that I should try a bit harder to find meself a maiden.... the way I talk about me plank... you'd think she was me girl... yar.. that is a bit funny.... mental note to me brain.... keep an eye out fer maidens in distress.... on any nice maiden fer that matter... yar... on that note, can't wait to go to the ole park after work! yar!!! It tis gonna feel great to ride me plank... haha I will be a salty dog fer life me thinks... yar... yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me.... I guess I am really not in that big a hurry to find a maiden... life is good, yar beer is plenty... friends are true, can't really ask for much more... yar... me plank will suffice fer now I suppose... yar....
--Capn' Periwinkle S.S. Blue

Yar this site is pretty funny if you ask me har har har http://www.robotfrank.com/ I think I might be a robot for halloween this year... yar... that would be a heap o' fun! Yar.... A Pirate robot that is... yar!

--Capn' Megatron S.S. Deseptacreep

PS Yar, I miss the ole morning cartoons... yar do they even have them anymore? yar to be a kid again...